I performed my first Second Life wedding last night. It was a shotgun affair and clearly had no planning or forethought. I don't doubt that the bride and groom cared about each other as they were both slightly giddy and nervous. The woman who contacted me via IM during the ceremony to perform her own wedding was even less prepared as she wanted to do hers at 2AM the next morning. I gently got her to rethink that ungodly hour but she kept trying to leave during my questions about what kind of ceremony they wanted. The prospective groom clearly had no interest in the whole affair and he left without a word. I was assuming she was attempting to follow him, so friended her and let her scamper off.

Photo courtesy http://www.flickr.com/photos/jurvetson/ under Creative Commons licence

All this leads me to wonder if Second Life couples couldn't benefit from pre-marital counseling. Now I know how silly that sounds, but let me explain. Second Life is a platform. Some call it a game. Relationships online are all too transitory and I know, through painful experience, how they can all go to shit in the blink of an eye. Real people at the keyboards get hurt, sometimes permanently, while the people doing the hurting move on to their next victim.

I had fun doing the wedding, but there is a nagging at the back of my head and my heart hurts for the inevitable broken ones.

If you are in an online relationship, or considering one, please think about the other people involved. Consider what their real lives might be like. If you're less than honorable with your partners, think about the damage you might be doing while they stare dewey eyed at thier monitors...so much in love.

It's bewildering that you can feel connected to someone that you have never laid eyes on, never heard the tone of their voice, have no idea what color their hair is even, but yet... you still feel it. It brings truth to the saying, "True beauty cannot be seen with the eyes, but only the heart."

~Jewell Lamourfou

I'm in a funk today. Trying to use good music to lift the clouds. It was a fun weekend with new music artists discovered and savored, as well as familiar ones appreciated. The Christmas tree is partially decorated. I love the warm light a Christmas tree gives out and will often leave it on all night.

Image courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/groups/creativecommons/

How many does it take to build a bridge?

Just two, if they want to.

How many does it take to start a war?

Just Three. Has to be a winner.

How many does it take to reach the moon?

Everyone Everywhere.

And how many does it take to change it all?

Just one.

Just you.

~POL Arida http://polarida.com

Affecting change...

It takes a glimmer of a thought from one person (just you) to start the energy moving for change, but it takes the tribe to complete it. It's really easy to quote the songs, or even to sing them. What's tough is trying to make positive changes when the tribe is scattered in so many directions.

Tortoise and Hare

I'm thankful for the shining star that so vividly pointed out the obvious to me this morning.



This afternoon I was digging through dusty piles of old term papers and slides from my photography classes (damn, I did good work back then) and came across an Aree style "The Tortoise and the Hare" composition I wrote for English 1A. The professor only gave me a B on that paper because I failed to fulfill the task of a compare/contrast, but it was a story I needed to write at the time. It's a story that needs to be remembered today as well as I find myself all filled with impatience and indignation at wheels that turn too slowly and people who don't listen.

"Tortoise learned that hares are what they are and that they will never change because they don't have the foresight to see the end. She learned that compassion and tolerance for the hares of life will help them dash through their days with a sense of purpose.

On the other hand, Hare learned that she should never judge another by appearances. What may seem slow and stupid may actually be the smartest way to win the race."

With the frigid weather of winter, the coyotes get bolder. There was one outside the fence yesterday morning but Poe barked and scared him away. I tried to dash for my camera but it was too late. The deer are much more tolerant of his protestations and they like the apples that I feed them, so I can snap photos to my heart's content.

Outside the grocery store there was the cutest little girl selling pretty, ribboned bunches of mistletoe for a dollar each. She was all dressed up for Christmas and I loved the little elf ears attached to her hat. I didn't have the camera with me, darn it.

The Mistletoe Magic
From the earliest times mistletoe has been one of the most magical, mysterious, and sacred plants of European folklore. It was considered to bestow life and fertility; a protection against poison; and an aphrodisiac. The mistletoe of the sacred oak was especially sacred to the ancient Celtic Druids. On the sixth night of the moon white-robed Druid priests would cut the oak mistletoe with a golden sickle. Two white bulls would be sacrificed amid prayers that the recipients of the mistletoe would prosper. Later, the ritual of cutting the mistletoe from the oak came to symbolize the emasculation of the old King by his successor. Mistletoe was long regarded as both a sexual symbol and the "soul" of the oak. It was gathered at both mid-summer and winter solstices, and the custom of using mistletoe to decorate houses at Christmas is a survival of the Druid and other pre-Christian traditions. The Greeks also thought that it had mystical powers and down through the centuries it became associated with many folklore customs. In the Middle Ages and later, branches of mistletoe were hung from ceilings to ward off evil spirits. In Europe they were placed over house and stable doors to prevent the entrance of witches. It was also believed that the oak mistletoe could extinguish fire. This was associated with an earlier belief that the mistletoe itself could come to the tree during a flash of lightning. The traditions which began with the European mistletoe were transferred to the similar American plant with the process of immigration and settlement.

Kissing under the mistletoe
Kissing under the mistletoe is first found associated with the Greek festival of Saturnalia and later with primitive marriage rites. They probably originated from two beliefs. One belief was that it has power to bestow fertility. It was also believed that the dung from which the mistletoe would also possess "life-giving" power. In Scandinavia, mistletoe was considered a plant of peace, under which enemies could declare a truce or warring spouses kiss and make-up. Later, the eighteenth-century English credited with a certain magical appeal called a kissing ball. At Christmas time a young lady standing under a ball of mistletoe, brightly trimmed with evergreens, ribbons, and ornaments, cannot refuse to be kissed. Such a kiss could mean deep romance or lasting friendship and goodwill. If the girl remained unkissed, she cannot expect not to marry the following year. In some parts of England the Christmas mistletoe is burned on the twelfth night lest all the boys and girls who have kissed under it never marry. Whether we believe it or not, it always makes for fun and frolic at Christmas celebrations. Even if the pagan significance has been long forgotten, the custom of exchanging a kiss under the mistletoe can still be found in many European countries as well as in Canada. Thus if a couple in love exchanges a kiss under the mistletoe, it is interpreted as a promise to marry, as well as a prediction of happiness and long life. In France, the custom linked to mistletoe was reserved for New Year's Day: "Au gui l'An neuf" (Mistletoe for the New Year). Today, kisses can be exchanged under the mistletoe any time during the holiday season.

The Legend
For its supposedly mystical power mistletoe has long been at the center of many folklore. One is associated with the Goddess Frigga. The story goes that Mistletoe was the sacred plant of Frigga, goddess of love and the mother of Balder, the god of the summer sun. Balder had a dream of death which greatly alarmed his mother, for should he die, all life on earth would end. In an attempt to keep this from happening, Frigga went at once to air, fire, water, earth, and every animal and plant seeking a promise that no harm would come to her son. Balder now could not be hurt by anything on earth or under the earth. But Balder had one enemy, Loki, god of evil and he knew of one plant that Frigga had overlooked in her quest to keep her son safe. It grew neither on the earth nor under the earth, but on apple and oak trees. It was lowly mistletoe. So Loki made an arrow tip of the mistletoe, gave to the blind god of winter, Hoder, who shot it , striking Balder dead. The sky paled and all things in earth and heaven wept for the sun god. For three days each element tried to bring Balder back to life. He was finally restored by Frigga, the goddess and his mother. It is said the tears she shed for her son turned into the pearly white berries on the mistletoe plant and in her joy Frigga kissed everyone who passed beneath the tree on which it grew. The story ends with a decree that who should ever stand under the humble mistletoe, no harm should befall them, only a kiss, a token of love. What could be more natural than to translate the spirit of this old myth into a Christian way of thinking and accept the mistletoe as the emblem of that Love which conquers Death? Its medicinal properties, whether real or imaginary, make it a just emblematic of that Tree of Life, the leaves of which are for the healing of the nations thus paralleling it to the Virgin Birth of Christ.

http://www.theholidayspot.com/christmas/history/mistletoe.htm

I realized today, with some delight, that tomorrow is the first of December and I can start wearing my cheezy Christmas stuff.

When she was still alive, Granny used to make crochet slippers for the entire family. They weren't very comfortable and when not worn resembled an ugly, multicolored envelope. We could sure depend on getting them though, along with the occasional crochet covered hanger. To this day I can't figure out why she would give a hanger (and it was always just one) but I think it could have been a subtle hint to the four of us girls to not be such slobs.

Earrings made out of Christmas ornaments are always fun. I did these last year right before the holiday, so I didn't get enough chances to wear them. My family was probably thankful for that.

Bud, Take the Wheel

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes made of ticky tacky

Little boxes on the hillside

Little boxes all the same

There's a green one and a pink one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of ticky tacky

And they all look just the same

"Words and music by Malvina Reynolds. Malvina and her husband were on their way from where they lived in Berkeley, through San Francisco and down the peninsula to La Honda where she was to sing at a meeting of the Friends’ Committee on Legislation (not the PTA, as Pete Seeger says in the documentary about Malvina, "Love It Like a Fool"). As she drove through Daly City, she said 'Bud, take the wheel. I feel a song coming on.'"

~http://web2.wku.edu/~smithch/MALVINA/mr094.htm

How wonderful to be able to create spontaneously. I'm envious!